1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
5. Get rid of your cat.
6. Saturday + Sunday = Sports. Learn this equation
7. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
8. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
9. You have too many shoes.
10. Crying is blackmail.
11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
13. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers.
14. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
15. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
16. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
17. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
18. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
19. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
20. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
21. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done, not both.
22. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
23. You have enough clothes.
24. Men are from earth; women are from earth. Deal with it.
25. Nothing says, "I love you" like sex.
Type: The Lagging Mystic
Characteristics: This is the guy you met at Burning Man or Reggae on the River who you run into occasionally at the coffee shop or natural food store. Most of your hippie friends have assured you he’s a kind soul, but while he’s exploring the nature of the cosmos with a mellow sister he just met, you’re sitting at home getting hassled by customers you said you’d hook up three hours ago. The Lagging Mystic will teach you that patience is a virtue.
Appearance: Most Mystics under forty have dreadlocks and Rasta-themed clothing, whereas mystics over forty wear sandals and tie-dye. Hemp clothing is mandatory for both.
Pros: Always has the best outdoor organic at reasonable prices.
Cons: Lacks a linear conception of time, does not believe in urgency and has no phone.
Warning: Requires an open mind, schedule, and the ability to listen to long, dragging accounts of his most recent spiritual awakening or communion with the most high.
Calls his weed: Medicine, Herb, Sacrament.
Catchphrase: “This strain of herb, brethren, has been blessed by shaman, Jerry, and the Most High.”
Type: Lord of the Schwag
Characteristics: This guy might be a Mexican gangster, an old hippie who complains that “pot is just too strong these days,” or anyone more concerned with profit than reputation. His weed is often vacuum-sealed and squeezed into rock-hard chunks from its journey out of British Columbia or Mexico. It may have been grown with chemicals and pesticides labeled “for use on ornamental plants only.” It also may have suffered frostbite, premature harvest, or a little too much time crated up in some mafia goon’s basement, giving it that aroma you normally associate with your grandma’s rest home.
Appearance: The Schwag Lord takes many forms.
Pros: If you have the right type of clientele, you can make a lot of money with this guy.
Cons: Your friends will make fun of you.
Warning: Smoking mold causes lung infections.
Calls his weed: Product, B-grade, Work.
Catchphrase: “Don’t be fooled by the look, taste and smell—it’s fuckin’ stony.”
Type: The Rip-Off Artist
Characteristics: Chances are, you’ve known this guy less than an hour. He calls you bro and appears to have all the same opinions and interests that you do. His eyes dart around a lot, and he never actually looks at you, but he seems cool. If you just chill out at his bro’s house, or around the corner, he’ll be back in fifteen minutes.
Appearance: White T-shirt, backwards baseball cap, small, cheap gold chain. Crooked teeth and meth sores are optional, but without fail sports a ponytail.
Pros: If he’s a large-scale Rip-Off artist, he may actually hook you up with a good deal the first time so he can gain your trust. He also helps rid you of any naïveté, any ideas that if you show people trust and respect they’ll do the same, that you may still cling to.
Cons: This one’s a no-brainer. And don’t think you can find him and get your money back, because he won’t have it. His mom is still trying to get that dime bag he promised her a few years back.
Warning: Check for ponytail. Unless it is accompanied by a beard or other hippie accoutrements, do not give him your money.
Calls his weed: Chronic nuggets.
Catchphrase: “Hey bro, lookin’ for any chronic nuggets?”
Type: The Weed Snob
Characteristics: This guy was annoying back in high school, and he’s even more annoying now that you have to buy weed from him. No matter what strain you have, it never seems to be good enough for him to smoke. Says things like, “I’m really in more of a Jack Herer mood right now,” or “You look like a Big Bud kind of guy.” Also uses terms like “bouquet,” “aroma” and “woody aftertaste.”
Appearance: An air of smug superiority and vague disgust surrounds him. Wears that stupid 1998 Cannabis Cup Judge T-shirt every day.
Pros: Always has the best weed in town at any given time.
Cons: Rarely has anything for sale since “there’s nothing worth buying.” And you can be damn sure it won’t be cheap if he does.
Warning: Use extreme caution when matching bowls with the Weed Snob. Only European strains are recommended. If the Weed Snob catches you in possession of anything you bought from The Schwag Lord, mockery, and in some extreme cases, violence, may ensue.
Calls his weed: Grade A Smoke, The Good Stuff.
Catchphrase: “Eww…how can you even smoke this? What is this, Mex?"
Type: The Gangster
Characteristics: Once the Rip-Off artist realizes that sometimes you can make more consistent money by actually hooking people up rather than ripping them off, he becomes The Gangster. You still don’t really know him that well, but you’re pretty sure he has connections to organized crime, and sells a lot more than just weed.
Appearance: The Gangster does not believe in saving money, spending it on his illegitimate children, or welfare family. Therefore, with the exception of strippers and cocaine, The Gangster spends all his money on gold chains, watches, athletic clothes, and other forms of bling.
Pros: Has great, reliable deals on commercial stuff. Can help you out with any other illegal goods or services you may want.
Cons: He’s on probation, the cops are probably watching him, and bigger fish periodically rob him. And when he gets hard up for cash, he robs the weed cutsies first.
Warning: Small bills anger him.
Calls his weed: Trees, Product, The Stuff.
Catchphrase: “Hey what the fuck did I tell you about tens, bitch?”
Type: Mr. Paranoia
Characteristics: The guy’s a total sketcher. Phone conversations with him involve so many pointless code words and jargon that you both hang up with only vague ideas about what the other was trying to say. In person, he whispers any words that might be considered incriminating, and flips out if you forget to follow one of the bizarre rules he’s given you, or one he just made up, or if his brain chemistry is off that day.
Appearance: An aura of shadiness surrounds him. The brim of his hat always seems to cover his beady, darting eyes. In a lineup with the other nine Types, he’d be the easiest to identify as a drug dealer.
Pros: Mr. Paranoia is your bright warning beacon. Is this the kind of life you want to lead?
Cons: Paranoia, as the saying goes, is contagious. Hanging out with this guy outside of work will shorten your life expectancy.
Warning: At first, you and your friends might just think he’s really clever. He’s not.
Calls his weed: Those movies you wanted, the new Green Day CD, that one thing we talked about last Wednesday except this time three quarters of it is brown cow status and another half is on the high end of the Red Baron’s lawnmower.
Catchphrase: “Are you sure that old lady sleeping on the bench across the street from your apartment is chill? Was that a siren? Do you hear helicopters?”
Type: Mr. Medical
Characteristics: This lucky son of bitch has a license to grow, and possess, more weed than he could ever smoke. Depending on where you live and how strict the laws are, Mr. Medical may actually have a condition that can only be treated by cannabis. Most likely, however, he was just smart enough to work the system. As a result, he has the cheapest, freshest weed around every three months or so. Though seeing Mr. Medi’s grow room stirs feelings of jealousy in you, it also makes you want to quit hustling and grow your own crop.
Appearance: Mr. Medi may have a wheelchair, crutches, or another physical ailment, but there’s always a grin on his face.
Pros: Cheap weed, the chance to use a vaporizer, and the possibility that if you hang around him long enough he’ll designate you as his caretaker.
Cons: Sometimes Mr. Medical forgets that just because it’s currently relatively legal for him to grow and possess it, that doesn’t make it legal for him to sell it to you. He refuses to be discrete about anything, ever, and occasionally teases you about being paranoid.
Warning: May show up on your doorstep with a transparent turkey bag full of medicine slung over his shoulder.
Calls his weed: Medicine, what else?
Catchphrase: “It’s just a plant, man. Don’t worry so much.”
Type: The Street Kid
Characteristics: You remember this guy—you bought your first bag from him. Or, you may have utilized his services while vacationing in a strange new city. In any case, while you were watching Saturday morning cartoons and eating mom’s special blueberry pancakes, this kid was on the street, hustling. When he’s not in Juvie or a halfway home, he’s on the corner pushing dime bags as fast as you can smoke them.
Appearance: Wears pants so big you can’t tell if he’s got shoes, but you can sure as hell see every inch of his boxer shorts. Wears the same ratty hoodie and low-slung backpack every day.
Pros: He’s all over the world, in every city, and he always introduces himself.
Cons: Some of his bags are a bit skimpy, but do you really want to call him on it? He hasn’t eaten all day! Also, after having his pockets and backpack searched every week by the cops, you don’t even want to know where he keeps his weed now…
Warning: CHECK FOR PONYTAIL! Do not be fooled by a Rip-Off Artist in disguise.
Calls his weed: Every name you’ve heard of, plus a few you haven’t.
Catchphrase: “Weedsmoke! Bud for sale! Need some herb, dude?”
Type: The Walking Party/Bust Waiting to Happen
Characteristics: This guy keeps a high profile. There are at least ten people in his apartment/dorm at all times, usually drunk. Since he knows every dealer in town, as they’ve all been to a party at his house at some point, he usually has good herb for a good price. Snowboarding trips and concerts aside, he’s always home, so if you don’t mind waiting in line to buy weed he’s not a bad guy to know.
Appearance: You’ve never seen him without shorts, sandals, slitty sunglasses, and a beer in his hand. He frequently wears Hawaiian shirts and visor caps as well.
Pros: He’s fun to hang out with, and his pad is a great place to make connections.
Cons: It’s also a great place to make unwanted connections.
Warning: Since the entire apartment complex knows this guy is a dealer, it’s only a matter of time before a sleep-deprived neighbor rats him out and he gets busted. Don’t be there when it happens.
Calls his weed: Chron-chron, Chrizon, Doj.
Catchphrase: “Hey-haaay! Whatuuup, dogger!”
Type: Johnny Dependable
Characteristics: This is the guy you want to know. He’s got a strong work ethic and such a low profile that you may already know him. However, you’ll probably have to be in the weed circuit for a while before he reveals himself as a professional pot dealer. He would’ve been great at any number of professions, but somehow he got into dealing weed and still hasn’t found a comparable way to make his money legally. If you’re a dealer, learn from him.
Appearance: Nondescript, unassuming. He probably looks like “the boy next door.”
Pros: This guy has weed nine out of ten times when you call him, and he somehow always manages to fit you into his schedule later that day. Never flakes on you or tries to act important.
Cons: His deals are always good, but rarely exceptional. He’s a shrewd businessman trying to make a profit and his prices reflect that.
Warning: Just because Johnny Dependable is always there for you doesn’t mean you should get rid of your other dealers’ phone numbers. Unlike some of the other Types, this guy is capable of success outside of the weed game, and when he graduates he may leave you high and dry.
Calls his weed: Weed.
Catchphrase: “See you in ten minutes.”
Click On Image To Image In Full Resolution.
More Hide and Sneak
When you think of sneaky you usually think of something that is secret or hidden from you. Actually, the most common sneaky-use application is hiding your valuable belongings from others.
* Hollowed-out candle
* Figurine
* Tissue container
* Trash container base
* Video or audio cassette shell
* Pen
* Watch case
* Inner pocket
* Shoestring
* DVD case
* Between magazine pages
* Inside a candy box
* Ironing board padding
* Bag within a bag
Source & Picture: Sneakier Uses For Everyday Things
I myself would forget about the DVD/CD case idea (as well as VHS and video game cases). If kids are breaking in, they love to scoop those things up to sell for quick cash.
More Ideas For Hiding Things
* Store items in food containers to keep in the fridge, pantry or freezer. This only works well if you regularly have a lot of items and containers for them to go through.
* Cut a hole behind a floor baseboard and stash valuables in there. Make sure that the baseboard is back in place perfectly.
* Pull off the rubber ends on the ironing board leg and voila! a tube for hiding.
* Money envelope hidden behind or tucked up inside wall calendars.
* Feminine Napkin or Tampon Boxes (keep them full of product).
* Inside rolls of toilet paper, the bottom ones kept stacked in packaging.
* A toy box filled with toys.
* Fill a sock and put in the dirty clothes hamper.
* ‘False’ Shampoo or hairspray bottles (just clean and empty a used bottle–not a clear plastic one!)
* Spice & herb bottles: empty out and wash well, paint glue all over the inside then fill the bottle with spices again. Dump whatever the glue didn’t hold. You want the spice bottle to look like it’s full of spice. Fill the bottle with valuables in a plastic bag once the glue and spices are completely dried.
* Used deodorant stick containers and toothpaste tubes (cut the end, clean well, roll up).
* If you’re handy, build a false ceiling, wall or floor in a small room.
* In amongst the Christmas decorations
* Buy two cheap, thin identical floor mats, glue together but leave a pocket edge open to tuck money envelopes in. Seal the pocket with double sided tape.
* If you live in a warm climate where it doesn’t freeze over winter–bury your stash in the backyard
Places That Aren’t Really Safe To Hide Things
* The master bedroom. Everyone stores their valuables in there.
* The medicine cabinet. Thieves typically love prescription pills.
* Inside and under dresser drawers. Too common.
* Underneath mattresses and along bed frames. Again, too common.
* Bedroom closets and clothes pockets–one of the first places to ransack.
* A locked fire safe or locked briefcase–both can be picked up and left with to be broken into somewhere else. If you have a safe, make sure it’s bolted down tight.
A Good Idea
* Have a ’secret’ jewelry box or box of some kind sitting on the dresser or tucked away in a dresser drawer. Put some cash in there and cheap jewelry, maybe even a small key that doesn’t open anything. This is your decoy and will hopefully let the thief think he found the stash he’s looking for. Have it full of ‘junk’ that looks valuable, the more the better.
Also have a few different hiding spots. That way not everything will be stolen if only one or two spots are found.
Did You Know
* Some thieves break into homes looking for spare keys to the house, garage and car to steal or break into later? Don’t leave spare keys in an obvious place.
Wherever you hide your stash–keep it to yourself & make sure to remember where it is!
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Have a Great Weekend Everybody!!
Not everyone is aware of what peroxide can do. Here's how you can maximize your own little brown bottle.
Peroxide was invented during World War II to help army troops in their various needs. Nowadays, this same chemical can be bought in almost any drugstore for as low as one dollar! However, not everyone is familiar with the uses and benefits one can get from a cheap bottle of peroxide.
I took the liberty of researching on this topic. Below are some of the less known but definitely great ways to maximize that small bottle resting in your medicine cabinet!
1. Heal wounds and infections by soaking the affected area in peroxide from five to ten minutes. Do this several times a day for better and faster results.
2. Kill fungus on your feet by spraying a mixture (fifty percent peroxide and fifty percent water) of peroxide and water on them everyday. Don't wipe with cloth, just let it dry.
3. Rather than keeping your toothbrush in your bathroom cabinets, soak it in a cup of peroxide. This will kill bacteria and germs that may have accumulated due to residues from your teeth.
4. Use peroxide as mouthwash. Take one capful and gargle for about five to ten minutes. You'll be surprised to see whiter teeth and sore-less gums.
5. Following the same idea as with your toothbrush, peroxide can also be used as a spray cleaner for countertops and tabletops. You may also put a small amount on a dishrag and wipe it on the surfaces to kill bacteria and germs.
6. Spray a 50/50 mixture of peroxide and water into your nostrils whenever you have colds or blocked sinus. Hold it for a few minutes and then blow your nose into a tissue. Peroxide kills the bacteria that cause colds, coughs, flu, and sinus infections.
7. Use peroxide as a pain-reliever! If you're suffering from toothache and the dentist is still several miles away, gargle peroxide for about ten minutes several times. This shall lessen the pain and give you ample time to get to the dentist without having to suffer more.
8. Half a bottle of peroxide mixed with your bath can cure mild and recurring skin infections such as rashes, boils and fungus
9. Use peroxide as a substitute for bleach. Apply a small amount on stains or mix with your laundry to whiten clothes.
10. Clean your mirrors with peroxide! You'll love the smudge and smear-free surface!
Click the picture above to see the image in higher resolution.
Click the picture above to see the image in higher resolution.
Guidance, Acceptance and Overstanding, One Love!
Past work experience:
- Ran for congress and lost.
- Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
- Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas, company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
- Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using tax-payer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago Cubs.
- With fathers help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.
Accomplishments- Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union. Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money. Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history. - Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my fathers appointments to the Supreme Court.
- Attacked and took over two countries.
- Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
- Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
- Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.
- Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
- First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
- First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
- First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.
- After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in US history.
- Set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips than any other president in US history.
- In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
- Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history.
- Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.
- Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.
- Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
- Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in US history.
- Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
- Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
- Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
- Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
- Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
- My presidency is the most secretive and un-accountable of any in US history.
- Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (the 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice has an Exxon oil tanker named after her).
- First president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
- Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
- First president in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
- Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
- Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history.
- First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.
- First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.
- Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
- Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
- Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
- Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
- First president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
- All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
- My biggest life-time campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
- Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.
- First president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
- First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
- First US president to establish a secret shadow government.
- Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
- With a policy of 'dis-engagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
- Fist US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
- First US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
- Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
- Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
- Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
- Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capital building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.
- In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
- Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.
- In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.
- Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.
- At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available)
- AWOL from National Guard and Deserted the military during a time of war.
- Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
- All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
- All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
- All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
- Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public review.
- For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)
At least two people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
At least fifteen people in this world love you in some way.
The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
You mean the world to someone.
If not for you, someone may not be living.
You are special and unique.
There is someone that you don't even know exists, who loves you.
When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely
turned your back on the world.
When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
In the high-pressure world of professional sport, team-mates are bound to bond with one another.
All those hours spent together in the showers and receiving rubdowns, is it any wonder that these masculine hunks tend to occasionally get a little too close?
As with everything on the internet, such moments have a name: SPORNO
Sporno is that split second in time when a photographer captures two strapping athletes becoming one.
Here are 20 Sporno moments that will make you want to get physical.
20. Two basketball players both straining to make the rim
19. Another stiff performance by Lampard in an England shirt.
18. "2-4-6-8, guess who this guy appreciates"
17. "Just stand still a moment, while I kiss you on the mouth"
16. Don Nelson clearly still has a few moves up his sleeve
15. "No, I'm telling you. That guy behind isn't watching us"
14. So it's not just Brooke that's sucking the Hulkster dry
13. "I'm sorry..."
12. Sunk into Phil's hole in one
11. "Hey Senor, form an orderly queue"
10. As is often the way, one guy is enjoying himself way more than the other
9. Goldenballs-deep
8. We've all uncorked too soon at least once in our lives
7. What happens when an innocent game of Twister goes too far
6. "So you play tight end?"
"Actually I'm a wide receiver"
5. Her parents must be so proud
4. The guy on the left was enjoying himself, until he became aware there was a camera on him
3. For once Shawn Michaels isn't the only sexy boy on display
2. "So you play for Orlando Magic? Well guess what I'm about to make disappear"
1. "Sorry for getting you sent off in the World Cup Wayne"
Click the picture above to see the entire image.
What's the difference between a million, a billion, a trillion?
A million seconds is 12 days.
A billion seconds is 31 years.
A trillion seconds is 31,688 years.
A million minutes ago was – 1 year, 329 days, 10 hours and 40 minutes ago.
A billion minutes ago was just after the time of Christ.
A million hours ago was in 1885.
A billion hours ago man had not yet walked on earth.
A million dollars ago was five (5) seconds ago at the U.S. Treasury.
A billion dollars ago was late yesterday afternoon at the U.S. Treasury.
A trillion dollars is so large a number that only politicians
can use the term in conversation... probably because they
seldom think about what they are really saying. I've read that
mathematicians do not even use the term trillion!
Here is some perspective on TRILLION:
Trillion = 1,000,000,000,000.
The country has not existed for a trillion seconds.
Western civilization has not been around a trillion seconds.
One trillion seconds ago – 31,688 years – Neanderthals stalked the plains of Europe.
Million: 1,000,000
Billion: 1,000,000,000
Trillion: 1,000,000,000,000
Quintillion: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000
Sextillion: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
Nonillion: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
Centillion: 1 followed by 303 zeros
Click the picture above to see the entire image.
ABN AMRO- In the 1960s, the Nederlandse Handelmaatschappij (Dutch Trading Society 1824) and the Twentsche Bank merged to form the Algemene Bank Nederland ( ABN General Bank of the Netherlands). In 1966, the Amsterdamsche Bank and the Rotterdamsche Bank merged to form the Amro Bank. In 1991, ABNand Amro Bank merged to form ABN AMRO.
Accenture- Accent on the Future. Greater-than 'accent' over the logo's t points forward towards the future. The name Accenture was proposed by a company employee in Norwayas part of a internal name finding process (BrandStorming). Prior to January 1, 2001 the company was called Andersen Consulting.
Adidas- from the name of the founder Adolf (Adi) Dassler.
Adobe- came from name of the river Adobe Creek that ran behind the houses of founders John Warnock and Chuck Geschke .
AltaVista - Spanish for "high view".
Amazon.co
AMD- Advanced Micro Devices.
Apache- The name was chosen from respect for the Native American Indian tribe of Apache (Indé), well-known for their superior skills in warfare strategy and their inexhaustible endurance. Secondarily, and more popularly (though incorrectly) accepted, it's considered a cute name that stuck: its founders got started by applying patches to code written for NCSA's httpd daemon. The result was 'a patchy' server
Apple- For the favourite fruit of co-founder Steve Jobs and/or for the time he worked at an apple orchard. He was three months late in filing a name for the business, and he threatened to call his company Apple Computer if his colleagues didn't suggest a better name by 5 p.m. Apple's Macintosh is named after a popular variety of apple sold in the US. Apple also wanted to distance itself from the cold, unapproachable, complicated imagery created by the other computer companies at the time had names like IBM, NEC, DEC, ADPAC, Cincom, Dylakor, Input, Integral Systems, SAP
AT&T- American Telephone and Telegraph Corporation officially changed its name to AT&T in the 1990s.
Bauknecht- Founded as an electrotechnical workshop in 1919 by Gottlob Bauknecht.
BBC- Stands for British Broadcasting Corporation.
BenQ- Bringing ENjoyment and Quality to life.
Blaupunkt- Blaupunkt (Blue dot) was founded in 1923 under the name Ideal. Their core business was the manufacturing of headphones. If the headphones came through quality tests, the company would give the headphones a blue dot. The headphones quickly became known as the blue dots or blaue Punkte. The quality symbol would become a trademark, and the trademark would become the company name in 1938.
BMW- Abbreviation of Bayerische Motoren Werke (Bavarian Motor Factories).
Borealis- The Northern Lights or Aurora Borealis, is the celestial phenomenon that features bursts of light in colourful patterns dancing across the night skies of the north. Borealis, inspired from the shining brilliance of the Northern Lights, was formed in 1994 out of the merger between two northern oil companies, Norway's Statoil and Finland's Neste.
BP- Formerly British Petroleum, now "BP" (The slogan "Beyond Petroleum" has incorrectly been taken to refer to the company's new name following its rebranding effort in 2000).
BRAC- Abbreviation for Bangladesh Rural Advancement Committee, world's largest NGO (non governmental organization). It works in development programs around the world.
Bridgestone- Named after founder Shojiro Ishibashi. The surname Ishibashi (??) means "stone bridge", i.e. "bridge of stone".
Bull- Compagnie des machines Bull was founded in Paristo exploit the patents for punched card machines taken out by a Norwegian engineer, Fredrik Rosing Bull.
Cadillac - Cadillac was named after the 18th century French explorer Antoine Laumet de La Mothe , sieur de Cadillac, founder of Detroit, Michigan. Cadillac is a small town in the South of France.
Canon- Originally (1933) Precision Optical Instruments Laboratory the new name (1935) derived from the name of the company's first camera, the Kwannon, in turn named after the Japanese name of the Buddhist bodhisattva of mercy.
CGI- From the first letter of Information Management Consultant in french (Conseiller en Gestion et Informatique).
Cisco- Short for San Francisco. It has also been suggested that it was "CIS-co" -- Computer Information Services was the department at StanfordUniversitythat the founders worked in.
COBRA- Computadores Brasileiros, "Brazilian Computers", electronics and services company, was the first state-owned designer and producer of computers in the 1970s, later acquired by the Banco do Brasil.
Coca-
Daewoo- The company founder Kim Woo Chong called it Daewoo which means "Great Universe" in Korean.
Dell- Named after its founder, Michael Dell. The company changed its name from Dell Computer in 2003.
DHL- The company was founded by Adrian Dalsey, Larry Hillblom , and Robert Lynn , whose last initials form the company's moniker.
eBay- Pierre Omidyar, who had created the Auction Web trading website, had formed a web consulting concern called Echo Bay Technology Group. " EchoBay" didn't refer to the town in Nevada, the nature area close to Lake Mead, or any real place. "It just sounded cool," Omidyar reportedly said. When he tried to register EchoBay.com, though, he found that Echo Bay Mines, a gold mining company, had gotten it first. So, Omidyar registered what (at the time) he thought was the second best name: eBay.com.
Epson- Epson Seiko Corporation, the Japanese printer and peripheral manufacturer, was named from "Son of Electronic Printer".
Fanta- was originally invented by Max Keith in Germanyin 1940 when World War II made it difficult to get the Coca-Cola syrup to Nazi Germany. Fanta was originally made from byproducts of cheese and jam production. The name comes from the German word for imagination (Fantasie or Phantasie), because the inventors thought that imagination was needed to taste oranges from the strange mix.
Fazer- Named after its founder, Karl Fazer.
Fiat- Acronym of Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino (Italian Factory of Cars of Turin).
Fuji- From the highest Japanese mountain Mount Fuji.
Google- The name is an intentional misspelling of the word googol, reflecting the company's mission to organize the immense amount of information available online.
Haier- Chinese ? "sea" and ? (a transliteration character; also means "you" in Literary Chinese)
HP- Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard tossed a coin to decide whether the company they founded would be called Hewlett-Packard or Packard-Hewlett.
Hitachi- Old place name, literally "sunrise"
Honda- From the name of its founder, Soichiro Honda.
Honeywell- From the name of Mark Honeywell founder of Honeywell Heating Specialty Co. It later merged with Minneapolis Heat Regulator Company and was finally called Honeywell Inc. in 1963.
Hotmail- Founder Jack Smith got the idea of accessing e-mail via the web from a computer anywhere in the world. When Sabeer Bhatia came up with the business plan for the mail service, he tried all kinds of names ending in 'mail' and finally settled for Hotmail as it included the letters "HTML" - the markup language used to write web pages. It was initially referred to as HoTMaiL with selective upper casing. (If you click on Hotmail's 'mail' tab, you will still find "HoTMaiL" in the URL).
HSBC- The Hongkong and Shanghai Banking Corporation.
Hyundai- Connotes the sense of "the present age" or "modernity" in Korean.
IBM- Named by Tom Watson, an ex-employee of National Cash Register. To one-up them in all respects, he called his company International Business Machines.
ICL- Abbreviation for International Computers Ltd, once the UK's largest computer company, but now a service arm of Fujitsu, of Japan.
IKON- Copier company name derived from I Know One Name.
Intel- Bob Noyce and Gordon Moore initially incorporated their company as N M Electronics. Someone suggested Moore Noyce Electronics but it sounded too close to "more noise" -- not a good choice for an electronics company! Later, Integrated Electronics was proposed but it had been taken by somebody else. Then, using initial syllables from INTegrated ELectronics, Noyce and Moore came up with Intel. To avoid potential conflicts with other companies of similar names, Intel purchased the name rights for $15,000 from a company called Intelco. (Source: Intel 15 Years Corporate Anniversary Brochure).
Interland- A web hosting provider formally known as Micron Computer, Inc. which was named either after InternetLandor the combination of the largest acqusition it performed, Interliant with the word Land.
Kawasaki- From the name of its founder, Shozo Kawasaki
Kodak- Both the Kodak camera and the name were the invention of founder George Eastman . The letter "K" was a favourite with Eastman; he felt it a strong and incisive letter. He tried out various combinations of words starting and ending with "K". He saw three advantages in the name. It had the merits of a trademark word, would not be mis-pronounced and the name did not resemble anything in the art. There is a misconception that the name was chosen because of its similarity to the sound produced by the shutter of the camera.
Konica- It was earlier known as Konishiroku Kogaku. Konishiroku in turn is the short for Konishiya Rokubeiten which was the first name of the company established by Rokusaburo Sugiura in the 1850s.
Korg- Formed from the surnames of the founders, Tsutomu Katoh and Tadashi Osanai, combined with the letters "rg" from the word organ.
LG- Combination of two popular Korean brands Lucky and Goldstar. (In Mexicopublicists explained the name change to the public as an abbreviation to LÃnea Goldstar Spanish for Goldstar Line).
L'Oréal- In 1907, Eugène Schueller, a young French chemist, developed an innovative hair-color formula. He called his improved hair dye Auréole.
Lotus Software- Mitch Kapor got the name for his company from 'The Lotus Position' or 'Padmasana'. Kapor used to be a teacher of Transcendental Meditation technique as taught by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.
Lucent Technologies- a spin-off from AT&T, it was named Lucent (meaning "luminous" or "glowing with light") because "light as a metaphor for visionary thinking reflected the company's operating and guiding business philosophy," according to the Landor Associates staff who chose the name. Source: Design Management Journal 8:1 (Winter 1997).
Lycos- From Lycosidae, the family of wolf spiders.
Mazda Motor- From the company's first president, Jujiro Matsuda . In Japanese, no syllables are ever stressed and some inner syllables are virtually skipped. Thus, Matsuda is pronounced "Matsda". To make the name fly better outside of Japan, the spelling was changed to Mazda.
McDonald's- From the name of the brothers Dick McDonald and Mac McDonald, who founded the first McDonald 's restaurant in 1940.
Mercedes- This is the first name of the daughter of Emil Jellinek, who worked for the early Daimler
company around 1900.
MGM- Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer was formed by the merger of three picture houses Metro Picture Corporation, Goldwyn Pictures Corporation and Louis B. Mayer Pictures. Goldwyn Picture Corporation in turn was named after the last names of Samuel Goldfish and Edgar and Archibald Selwyn.
Micron- Computer memory producer named after the microscopic parts of its products. The official name was Micron Computer, Inc. Since, the company has become Interland, a web hosting provider, after selling/spinning off its RAM division and closing down its computer division, licensing the name. The company is now headquartered in Atlanta.
Microsoft- Coined by Bill Gates to represent the company that was devoted to MICROcomputer SOFTware. Originally christened Micro-Soft, the '-' was removed later on.
midPhase- The post-dotcom era gave using the .com in a companies official name untrendy. A new dotcom company may be named traditionally, in midPhase's case it was named midPhase Services, Inc., the midPhase stands for Middle Phase, or middle of the road.
Mitsubishi- The name Mitsubishi (??) has two parts: mitsu means three and hishi (changing to bishi in the middle of the word) means water chestnut, and from here rhombus, which is reflected in the company's logo.
Motorola- Founder Paul Galvin came up with this name when his company (at the time, Galvin Manufacturing Company) started manufacturing radios for cars. Many audio equipment makers of the era used the " ola" ending for their products, most famously the "Victrola" phonograph made by the Victor Talking Machine Company. The name was meant to convey the idea of "sound" and "motion". The name became so recognized that the company later adopted it as the company name.
Mozilla Foundation- From the name of the web-browser that preceded Netscape Navigator. When Marc Andreesen , founder of Netscape, created a browser to replace the Mosaic browser, it was internally named Mozilla (Mosaic-Killer, Godzilla) by Jamie Zawinski.
MRF- Madras Rubber Factory, founded by K M Mammen Mappillai in 1946. He started with a toy balloon-manufacturing unit at Tiruvottiyur, Chennai (then called Madras). In 1952, he began manufacturing tread-rubber, and in 1961, tyres.
Nero- Nero Burning ROM named after Nero burning Rome.
Netscape- Named by first marketing employee Greg Sands, in a panic when the Universityof Illinoisthreatened to sue the new company for its original name, Mosaic. Netscape then paid Landor $50,000 to design a logo.
Nike- Named for the Greek goddess of victory.
Nikon- The original name was Nippon Kogaku, meaning "Japanese Optical".
Nokia- Started as a wood-pulp mill, the company expanded into producing rubber products in the Finnish city of Nokia. The company later adopted the city's name.
Nortel- The Nortel Networks name came from Nortel (Northern Telecom) and Bay Networks. The company was originally spun off from the Bell Telephone Company of Canada Ltd in 1895 as Northern Electric and Manufacturing, and traded as Northern Electric from 1914 to 1976.
Novartis- After the Latin _expression "novae artes" which means something like "new skills".
Oracle- Larry Ellison, Ed Oates and Bob Miner were working on a consulting project for the CIA (Central Intelligence Agency). The code name for the project was Oracle (the CIA saw this as the system to give answers to all questions or some such). The project was designed to help use the newly written SQL database language from IBM. The project eventually was terminated but they decided to finish what they started and bring it to the world. They kept the name Oracle and created the RDBMS engine. Later they changed the name of the company, Relational Technology Inc, to the name of the product.
Pepsi- Pepsi derives its name from (treatment of) dyspepsia, an intestinal ailment.
Philips- Royal Philips Electronics was founded in 1891, by brothers Gerard (the engineer) and Anton (the entrepreneur) Philips .
Qantas- From its original name, Queensland And Northern Territory Aerial Services.
Red Hat- Company founder Marc Ewing was given the Cornell lacrosse team cap (with red and white stripes) while at college by his grandfather. People would turn to him to solve their problems, and he was referred to as 'that guy in the red hat'. He lost the cap and had to search for it desperately. The manual of the beta version of Red Hat Linux had an appeal to readers to return his Red Hat if found by anyone.
Reebok- Another spelling of rhebok (Pelea capreolus), an African antelope.
SAAB- Founded in 1937 in Swedenas "Svenska Aeroplan aktiebolaget" (Swedish Aeroplane Company) abbreviated SAAB.
Samsonite- Samsonite was launched as a brand in 1941, receiving its name from the Biblical character Samson, renowned for his strength.
Samsung- Meaning three stars in Korean.
Sanyo - The Japanese translation is disputed, although the Chinese name is "??" (literally, "Three Oceans").
SAP- "Systems, Applications, Products in Data Processing
employees who used to work in the 'Systems/Applications/Projects' group of IBM.
SEGA- "Service Games of Japan" (SeGa) Founded by Marty Bromley (an American) to import pinball games to Japanfor use on American military bases.
Sharp- Japanese consumer electronics company named from its first product, an ever-sharp pencil.
Shell- Royal Dutch Shell was established in 1907, when the Royal Netherlands Petrol Society Plc. and the Shell Transport and Trading Company Ltd. merged. The Shell Transport and Trading Company Ltd. had been established at the end of the 19th century, by commercial firm Samuel & Co (founded in 1830). Samuel & Co were already successfully importing Japanese shells when they set up an oil company, so the oil company was named after the shells Samuel & Co were importing.
Siemens- founded in 1847 by Werner von Siemens and Johann Georg Halske: the company was originally called Telegraphen-Bau-Anstalt von Siemens & Halske.
Sprint- From its parent company, Southern Pacific Railroad INTernal Communications. Back in the day, pipelines and railroad tracks were the cheapest place to lay communications lines, as the right-of-way was already leased or owned.
Sun Microsystems- Its founders designed their first workstation in their dorm at StanfordUniversity, and chose the name Stanford University Network for their product, hoping to sell it to the college. They didn't.
Suzuki- From the name of its founder, Michio Suzuki.
Tesco- Founder Jack Cohen, who from 1919 sold groceries in the markets of the London East End, acquired a large shipment of tea from T. E. Stockwell and made new labels by using the first three letters of the supplier's name and the first two letters of his surname forming the word "TESCO".
Toshiba- Was founded by the merger of consumer goods company Tokyo Denki (Tokyo Electric Co) and electrical firm Shibaura Seisaku-sho (Shibaura Engineering Works).
Toyota- From the founder's name Sakichi Toyoda. Initially called Toyeda, it was changed after a contest for a better-sounding name. The new name was written in katakana with eight strokes, a number that is considered lucky in Japan.
Unisys- Made-up name for the company that resulted from the combination of two old mainframe computer companies, Burroughs and Sperry [Sperry Univac/Sperry Rand]. It "united" two incompatible ranges. Unisys was briefly the world's second-largest computer company, after IBM.
Verizon- A portmanteau of veritas (Latin for truth) and horizon.
Vodafone- Is a multinational mobile phone operator with headquarters in the United Kingdom. Its name is made up of VOice, DAta, TeleFONE. Vodafone made the UK's first mobile call at a few minutes past midnight on the 1 January 1985.
Volvo- From the Latin word "volvo", which means "I roll". It was originally a name for a ball bearing being developed by SKF.
Xerox- The inventor, Chestor Carlson, named his product trying to say `dry' (as it was dry copying, markedly different from the then prevailing wet copying). The Greek root `xer' means dry.
Yahoo!- A "backronym" for Yet Another Hierarchical Officious Oracle. The word Yahoo was invented by Jonathan Swift and used in his book Gulliver's Travels. It represents a person who is repulsive in appearance action and is barely human. Yahoo! founders David Filo and Jerry Yang selected the name because they jokingly considered themselves yahoos.
1. Do you love the smell of roses? Now you can have that scent year round without using artificial air fresheners. To make a rose air freshener try layering rose petals and salt in a glass jar with a tightly fitting lid. Then just remove the lid to freshen the air.
2. Keep ants out of your home, just sprinkle salt across their path and the ants will be discouraged from going any further and you didn't have to resort to using harmful pesticides.
3. Shell hard boiled eggs easily, just add a teaspoon of salt to the water before boiling and you'll have perfect eggs every time.
4. Test an eggs freshness, add 1 teaspoon of salt to one cup of water and then float the egg in the water. A fresh egg will sink but an old one will float.
5. Keep your salad crisp. After preparing your salad lightly salt it, and your salad will remain crisp for several hours afterwards.
6. Keep your milk fresh, just add a pinch of salt to your jug of milk or cream for it to keep longer.
7. Set the color in new towels, just add a cup of salt to the wash water the first couple of times that you wash them. This keep your towels bright much longer.
8. Weed killer, boil one cup of salt to two cups of water and pour over the weeds to kill them.
9. Revive wrinkled apples, add the apples to mildly salted water and watch the wrinkles disappear. It's to bad that doesn't work for people!
10. Restore a sponge, just soak overnight in a solution of 1/4 cup of salt to one qt. of water to restore them to like new condition.
How many famous people can you recognize?
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Mention vibrators, and most people think of women's sexual pleasure. But that was the furthest thing from the minds of the male doctors who invented them more than a century ago. They were more interested in a labor-saving device to spare their own hands the fatigue caused by treating "female hysteria." This condition involved a number of vague, chronic complaints in adult women, including: anxiety, sleeplessness, irritability, nervousness, erotic fantasies, and moisture inside the vagina. Female hysteria was actually women's sexual frustration. The history of vibrators is a strange tale that provides insights into both the history of sex toys, and cultural notions about women's sexuality.
Until the 20th century, American and European men believed that women were incapable of sexual desire and pleasure. Women of that era basically concurred. They were socialized to believe that "ladies" had no sex drive, and were merely passive receptacles for men's unbridled lust, which they had to endure to hang on to their husbands and have children. Not surprisingly, these beliefs led to a great deal of sexual frustration on the part of women.
Over the centuries, doctors prescribed various remedies for hysteria (named for the Greek for "uterus"). In the 13th century, physicians advised women to use dildos. In the 16th century, they told married hysterics to encourage the lust of their husbands. Unfortunately, that probably didn't help too many wives, because modern sexuality research clearly shows that most women rarely experience orgasm from intercourse, but need direct clitoral stimulation. For hysteria unrelieved by husbandly lust, and for widows, and single and unhappily married women, doctors advised horseback riding, which, in some cases, provided enough clitoral stimulation to trigger orgasm.
But many women found little relief from horseback riding, and by the 17th century, dildos were less of an option because the arbiters of decency had succeeded in demonizing masturbation as "self-abuse." Fortunately, an acceptable, reliable treatment emerged: having a doctor or midwife "massage the genitalia with one finger inside, using oil of lilies or crocus" as a lubricant. With enough genital massage, hysterical women could experience sudden, dramatic relief through "paroxysm," which virtually no medical authority called orgasm, because, of course, everyone knew that women did not have sexual feelings, so they could not possibly experience sexual climax.
By the 19th century, physician-assisted paroxysm was firmly entrenched in Europe and the U.S. It was a godsend for many doctors. At that time, the public viewed physicians with tremendous distrust. Most doctors had little or no scientific training, and they had few treatments that worked. But thanks to genital massage, hysteria was a condition doctors could treat with great success. This produced large numbers of grateful women, who returned faithfully and regularly, eager to pay for additional treatment.
But treating hysteria also had a downside for doctors? tired fingers from all that massage. Nineteenth-century medical journals lamented that many hysterics taxed their doctors' stamina. Physicians complained of having trouble maintaining therapeutic massage long enough to produce the desired result. (For a look at 19th century treatment of female hysteria, see the film, The Road to Wellville.)
Necessity being the mother of invention, physicians began experimenting with mechanical substitutes for their hands. They tried a number of genital massage contraptions, among them water-driven devices (the forerunners of today's shower massagers), and steam-driven pumping dildos. But these machines were cumbersome, messy, often unreliable, and sometimes dangerous.
In the late 19th century, electricity became available for home use and the first electric appliances were invented: the sewing machine, the electric fan, and the toaster. These were followed soon after, around 1880, by the electromechanical vibrator, patented by an enterprising British physician, Dr. Joseph Mortimer Granville. The electric vibrator was invented more than a decade before the vacuum cleaner and the electric iron.
Electric vibrators were an immediate hit. They produced paroxysm quickly, safely, reliably, and inexpensively?and as often as women might desire it. By the dawn of the 20th century, doctors had lost their monopoly on vibrators and hysteria treatment as women began buying the devices themselves. Advertisements appearing in such magazines as "Women's Home Companion," "Needlecraft," and the Amazon.com of that era, the "Sears & Roebuck Catalogue" ("...such a delightful companion....all the pleasures of youth...will throb within you....").
Electricity gave women vibrators, but ironically, within a few decades, electricity almost took the devices away from them. With the invention of motion pictures, vibrators started turning up in pornography and gained an unsavory reputation. By the 1920s, they had become socially unacceptable. Vibrator ads disappeared from the consumer media. From the late 1920s and well into the 1970s, they were difficult to find.
But some inventions are so useful that they survive despite attempts at suppression. Today, an estimated 25 percent of women own vibrators, and 10 percent of American couples use them in partner sex. Just think, we owe the world's most popular sex toy to physicians' fatigued fingers.
For more on the history of vibrators, read "The Technology of Orgasm: 'Hysteria,' The Vibrator, and Women's Sexual Satisfaction," by Rachel Maines (Johns Hopkins University Press, 1999).